Guardian Angel Jokes

A handsomely attractive and cologne scented man was walking down the street when he heard a voice warily speak :

“Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.”

The curious man halted mid step, and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was about to cross yet another road.

  • Once again the voice shouted:Wikipedia image of a red brick

“Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.”

The handsome gentleman listened without a moments waste, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

“Where are you?” the cologne scented man asked.

“Who are you?” Please I must know, how you know.

“I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.

“Oh yeah?” the amazed yet now slightly angry man asked…

“Then where were you when I was at the church altar, getting married?”

Guardian Angel Jokes

A handsomely attractive and cologne scented man was walking down the street when he heard a voice warily speak :

“Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.”

The curious man halted mid step, and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was about to cross yet another road.

  • Once again the voice shouted:Wikipedia image of a red brick

“Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.”

The handsome gentleman listened without a moments waste, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

“Where are you?” the cologne scented man asked.

“Who are you?” Please I must know, how you know.

“I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.

“Oh yeah?” the amazed yet now slightly angry man asked…

“Then where were you when I was at the church altar, getting married?”

Great Neck DeWalt Saw Stolen from front porch

We all get packages delivered, and hope our neighbors respect that. Well in the age of home surveillance, you think you would not risk stealing packages from the front porch.

Nassau police are seeking the man who stole a large package left on the porch of a Great Neck home Monday, a delivery that contained an expensive tool.

Police said the $400 saw was taken from a Fairview Avenue house at 3:45 p.m. Monday.

Home surveillance showed the suspect examining the box by the front door for a few seconds and looking over his shoulder to the street. The box showed the logo of DeWalt, which manufactures professional power tools.

He then hefted the sizable package to a gray Chevrolet truck, which appeared to have a covered rear cargo bed, the footage shows. The truck headed west from the house, police said.

The suspect wore a blue jacket, bluejeans and a black cap and appeared to be 5 feet, 10 inches tall and 200 pounds, police said.

Man steals dewalt saw in great neck Long Island

Police are looking for this man, and the Chevrolet Avalanche.

Third Precinct detectives ask anyone with information to call Crime Stoppers at 800-244-TIPS.

Rough Flu Season Causing Supply Shortages At Some Doctors’ Offices, Hospital

We would like to share with you a video and a story. About a topic all over the Carolinas. The Rough Flu Season Causing Supply Shortages At Some Doctors’ Offices, Hospitals.

Rough Flu Season Causing Supply Shortages At Some Doctors’ Offices, Hospitals lets here more now.

PITTSBURGH (KDKA) — The flu has hit so hard and heavy this year, some doctors are running out of supplies.

“I have heard from private practices that they are running short on the rapid flu tests,” says Allegheny General Hospital Emergency Medicine physician Dr. Tom Campbell. “I think they could make some decision on who it was most important to get the test on, who was most at risk, and use the same number they might have left.”

Restocking these 10-minute tests isn’t so easy.

“We went to purchase more because of the use we’ve had this year, and they’re not available,” says Dr. James DeAngelo, of Allergy and Clinical Immunology Associates.

“I think a lot of it is proactive. Our supply chain folks have done a really good job of managing it, monitoring it, and try to keep our orders coming in on time,” says Dave Kish, RN of the St. Clair Hospital Emergency Department.

“Photo credit Twitter, in this shockingly quick Flu Test Shortage”

“Some places are in good shape.

“I think a lot of it is proactive. Our supply chain folks have done a really good job of managing it, monitoring it, and try to keep our orders coming in on time,” says Dave Kish, RN of the St. Clair Hospital Emergency Department.

The test involves swabbing the back of the nose or throat to check for influenza DNA.

“It takes 10 minutes,” says Dr. Campbell.

But you don’t need a test to tell if you have the flu.

“If someone looks like they have a flu, with a fever, myalgias, or body aches, and we know it’s running rampant in the population, you probably don’t need to do a flu test, even a rapid flu test,” says Dr. Campbell.

The latest numbers from the Allegheny County Health Department are more than 4,000 cases so far this flu season. That’s twice as many as the same time last year. There have also been some deaths.

“One day she’s fine, then she’s gone,” laments the mother of a girl who died of the flu. “How can that even happen?”

Watch for symptoms that signal you’re heading for trouble. “If it’s beyond your usual fever, body aches, if you have extreme shortness of breath, chest pain, can’t get up and walk. I’ve had patients from dehydration, pass out at home, and have to come in, and those are all reasons to come in to be seen,” says Dr. Campbell.

In summary if this breaking health news development. Buyers in hospitals are forced to pay higher prices for supply’s and the test.

Just in this season in Allegheny County, and there have been five deaths. That’s the same number of deaths as the same time last year.

Stay safe and get the kids and the elderly out in time to get vaccinated. And stay safe out there.

Till next time this is Michael “AskHoffa” Hoffman signing off.

Flu pandemic

More texts turned over from FBI agent taken off Mueller team

https://www.yahoo.com/newsroom/vibes/elections-aftermath/v-60f73942-c8f9-11e5-bc86-fa163e798f6a_c-ae9d64c1-31d9-3a23-86b8-7d96b90521f8_a-ae9d64c1-31d9-3a23-86b8-7d96b90521f8?soc_src=newsroom&soc_trk=org.wordpress.WordPressShare&.tsrc=newsroom

President Donald J Trump Twitter message

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Justice Department has turned over to Congress additional text messages involving an FBI agent who was removed from special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigative team following the discovery of derogatory comments about President Donald Trump.

But the department also said in a letter to lawmakers that its record of messages sent to and from the agent, Peter Strzok, was incomplete because the FBI, for technical reasons, had been unable to preserve and retrieve about five months’ worth of communications.

New text messages highlighted in a letter to FBI Director Christopher Wray by Sen. Ron Johnson, the Republican chairman of the Senate’s Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee, are from the spring and summer of 2016 and involve discussion of the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server. They reference Attorney General Loretta Lynch’s decision to accept the FBI’s conclusion in that case and a draft statement that former FBI Director James Comey had prepared in anticipation of closing out the Clinton investigation without criminal charges.

The FBI declined to comment Sunday.

Strzok, a veteran counterintelligence agent who also worked the Clinton email case, was reassigned last summer from the team investigating ties between Russia and Trump’s Republican presidential campaign after Mueller learned he had exchanged politically charged text messages — many anti-Trump in nature — with an FBI lawyer also detailed to the group. The lawyer, Lisa Page, left Mueller’s team before the text messages were discovered.

The Justice Department last month produced for reporters and Congress hundreds of text messages that the two had traded before becoming part of the Mueller investigation. Many focused on their observations of the 2016 election and included discussions in often colorful language of their personal feelings about Trump, Clinton and other public figures. Some Republican lawmakers have contended the communication reveals the FBI and the Mueller team to be politically tainted and biased against Trump — assertions Wray has flatly rejected.

In addition to the communications already made public, the Justice Department on Friday provided Johnson’s committee with 384 pages of text messages, according to a letter from the Wisconsin lawmaker that was obtained by The Associated Press.

But, according to the letter, the FBI told the department that its system for retaining text messages sent and received on bureau phones had failed to preserve communications between Strzok and Page over a five-month period between Dec. 14, 2016, and May 17, 2017. May 17 was the date that Mueller was appointed as special counsel to oversee the Russia investigation.

The explanation for the gap was “misconfiguration issues related to rollouts, provisioning, and software upgrades that conflicted with the FBI’s collection capabilities.”

In Johnson’s letter to Wray, he asks whether the FBI has any records of communications between Strzok and Page during that five-month window and whether the FBI had searched their non-FBI phones for additional messages. He also asks for the “scope and scale” of any other records from the Clinton investigation that have been lost.

One of the messages references a change in language to Comey’s statement closing out the email case involving Clinton, Trump’s Democratic opponent in the 2016 presidential election. While an earlier draft of the statement said Clinton and President Barack Obama had an email exchange while Clinton was “on the territory” of a hostile adversary, the reference to Obama was at first changed to “senior government official” and then omitted entirely in the final version.

In another exchange, the two express displeasure about the timing of Lynch’s announcement that she would defer to the FBI’s judgment on the Clinton investigation. That announcement came days after it was revealed that the attorney general and former President Bill Clinton had an impromptu meeting aboard her plane in Phoenix, though both sides said the email investigation was never discussed.

Strzok said in a July 1 text message that the timing of Lynch’s announcement “looks like hell.” And Page appears to mockingly refer to Lynch’s decision to accept the FBI’s conclusion in the case as a “real profile in courag(e) since she knows no charges will be brought.”

Days later, on July 5, Comey announced the FBI’s recommendation that no criminal charges were merited.

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Follow Eric Tucker on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/etuckerAP

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This story has been corrected to show that the five-month period in which communications were not preserved ended May 17, 2017, not May 7, 2017.